SETTING BOUNDARIES DURING THE TRAINING SESSION 

http://www.itrainplus.co.in
“What makes people tick?”
I was compelled to research on the given topic post my recent training experience.
My training was organized for a group of learners who came from different walks of life. This particular group was a perfect example of group diversity where on one hand few learners were fresh out of college and few had a vast experience of 30 years in their respective field.
Training started with the best of behaviour from both ends but as it progressed, learner’s whims and fancies, their behaviour and the myriads of personality started to unravel.
Though I had handled such experience during the initial phase of my training career but as my recent experiences had been really positive, I was more open and consultative in my approach towards my learners even to the extent of re-vamping my module to suit the learners.
I used to firmly believe that Trainers ability to be creative, on-spot module re-vamping to suit the learning experience, having few surprise elements for the learners was an asset and a sign of perfect facilitation till I experienced this particular session which proved to be a turning point in my training facilitation career.
It is often believed that good experiences make one confident and bad experiences teaches one the “lesson for the lifetime”.
Prior to this experience I had never bothered to put disciplinary clauses or terms and conditions in my training proposal but post this experience I realised their relevance.
Sharing for the convenience of my fellow trainers as well as entrepreneurs
Disciplinarian Terms and Conditions:
“As this is a group learning process, facilitator has the authority to issue a behaviour warning; if a particular participant is disruptive, based on the faculty and other participants feedback; in case of a repeat in such behaviour we are authorized to stop the participant, who has been disruptive during sessions from attending the program”
Good behaviour guidelines would include: you are expected to Respect the views and opinions of peer participants and facilitator: disagreements

2/3
and debate cannot go beyond intolerance. If after Warning such behaviour persists, the facilitator has the right to withdraw your nomination rights.
Since I follow Buddhism philosophy which firmly states the ability to see the Buddha in everyone, coming back to my research on ‘Know-it-all attitude’ people, the underlying fact is ‘what we see is often not the whole of anyone’s actual story’.
I often find myself trying to puzzle out possible reasons for difficult or troubling behaviours.
Definition of Know It All People
Know-it-all’s may be termed as those grandiose/ superlative personalities who act as if they are experts on every topic — even when evidence and behaviours prove otherwise.
They demonstrate their self-ascribed superiority in a wide variety of ways, including dominating conversations, offering unwanted advice, being argumentative in training as well as with co-learners around. They can also be condescending, challenge authority figures and engage in pointless debates.
In fact, know-it-all’s sometimes struggle with low self-esteem and use their braggadocio to prove to others that they are smarter than they are. It can also mask underlying anxiety and increase when they feel uncomfortable.
Know-it-all’s may have a cluster of personality characteristics, including impulsivity, poor listening skills and an inability to read social cues.
Recipients grow weary of the constant hot air and ultimately tune out whatever the braggart says. Toning down the rhetoric, allowing others to share their opinions would go a long way toward attaining the respect they so desperately crave.
Interesting Findings on How To “DEAL WITH A KNOW-IT-ALL”
Don’t take it personally. A know-it-all’s behaviour isn’t aimed at you.
Avoid arguing as that locks you into a pointless power struggle. Steer clear at all costs.
Know-it-all’s crave attention. Express amazement at their broad range of knowledge.
Give constructive feedback. Encourage them to allow others time to speak. Remind them when negative comments are inappropriate.

3/3
Set clear boundaries. Express yourself with clarity and decisiveness. If the know-it-all tries to intervene, re-state your plan as necessary.
Be understanding. Know-it-all’s are trying their best. Use patience. Approach them with compassion and respect.
Be a good role model. Demonstrate good listening skills. Know-it-all’s may pick up on your clues.
Sample script which I found quite helpful when talking with a know-it-all:
“You’re a huge asset to this group. But other people feel they’re afraid to speak up because you make fun of their opinions. I know you have strong feelings about how we should operate. Still, I want everyone to feel safe. Please, let other people speak. And I ask that you hold your opinions until the end. Thanks.”

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s